buttcramps:

people i do not trust

  • people who don’t like dogs
  • people who use 2-in-1 shampoo+conditioner
  • people who mix their playdoh
  • republicans
  • people that watch the big bang theory

(via beingadb)

Anonymous asked:

Tell me a bedtime story please

Libbsy Answer:

officialunitedstates:

Not many pieces of furniture currently have the capacity for thought.  It’s strange how we have all this computing power, yet we haven’t ever programmed a sofa to compliment you when you sit on it (“have you been working out or is that just my inner stuffing”), or a desk to ask you how your day was. 

"What time is it," you ask your bed.

"10:50," your bed replies, "Way past your bedtime."

i actually really like this and i'm not sure why